The Fear Of Being Forgotten

February 9, 2011

I used to worry about things quite a lot. Everything. Anything. I was constantly worried about things I couldn’t change. And I knew I couldn’t change them. But still. A lot has changed over the years. I let things go a lot now. Either that or I talk through things in my head or with Patrick (or my mum or my sister) straight away. Recently I also talk to Nicki who is the most amazing coach you could find. I’m still discovering new ways to make life calmer and more peaceful. I’m an avid reader of Rue magazine and in the most recent issue they have the cutest Worry Flashcards designed by Jess LC I fell in love with them and I’ve decided to give them a go!

This is a worry or perhaps a fear I’ve had since having to move to Canberra. I may have mentioned it here already. But I am deathly afraid that the 12 or so years of work that I’ve done in the country – beginning when I was 12 through voluntary work to just recently when I spent more time being involved in policy and everything in between voluntary and influencing policy – would be forgotten.  This played on my mind a lot before I moved.

I love what I do and I loved the small things that I had achieved at home. I was crazily in love with the students I worked with at USP and I didn’t want to leave. But I did. When I returned last month, I realized that I didn’t have that much to worry or fear. It was like I never left! People were still coming up and talking to me and reminding me of the work I had done with them previously!

In Taveuni a young man remembered me from a talk I gave on youth justice years ago! I met another gentleman who remembered me from the session I ran with P at the Pacific Youth Festival. It was the same in Suva, just hearing people say, ‘it’s so great you’re back’. Other people coming up and saying that they’ve been told to talk to me because of all the work I’ve done.

I couldn’t really do anything whilst I was in Australia. I continued my engagement with Fiji, but I couldn’t do anything about people forgetting me. Perhaps it’s something about your work speaking for itself? I don’t know. But I am so grateful. You really can’t imagine. I appreciate it all. Very much. Every day. Every moment. Now I can file this worry flashcard as a reminder of something that turned out well and as a reminder that nothing lasts – no great sorrow and no great happiness lasts forever.

What do you do to worry not? Patrick is probably the calmest person I know. He hardly ever worries about things, and when he does, he talks to himself, he reasons with himself and then convinces himself that way that there’s nothing to worry about. But I guess it’s each to his own.

So worry not worry wart….

5 comments

  • Betty

    I was jst reading your blog(which I have become a regular reader of 😉 and I tot i'd tell u that u were the greatest influence in my life. At every step i took for the past 2 years(ECREA,Ministry of youth, Indian High Comm, Youth Advisory….) they all still remember you..and me as soon as I say I study Psych…you wod be surprised but there are many people I know who still fan u…we will always know all you have done!!! I kno many adaz jst like me who fan u =)

    xoxoxo

  • VMV

    Love love love! Thank you Betty xoxoxo

  • Anonymous

    When I came across the following quote on Google Books, I immediately thought of you and all that you have done so far in your life…You have achieved so much Vanisha! Don't ever worry about what you haven't done or won't be able to do…its what you have already done that counts ok. You're a blessing for many. Continue with your good work and leave the rest to God…have faith in yourself and believe in yourself…you won't go wrong.

    Think about this one…YOU'RE DOING IT 🙂

    "Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

    – Rossette

  • Vanisha

    Thank you so much Rossette 🙂 so very much. Sometimes I just forget what I have done because I was brought up not to think too much of what I have achieved. But I'll go nuts if I keep that up. I'm glad I have friends like you, you make it clearer and easier 🙂

  • Al Bitra

    Bula Vanisha!

    I love, love, love your blog. I saw this as a link of friend's Facebook page and am now so glad that I clicked on it. After reading through posts on Phd Thursdays for the past half hour, I am incredibly motivated. I only just beginning on my postgraduate diploma and trying to balance being a full time working mum and part student as well as a daughter and a friend. Reading through your posts on how you manage to balance everything is exactly what I needed. Vinaka and keep them coming.

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