How to Blog: Blog Etiquette

May 20, 2015

My little blog, whilst still little has done so much growing in the past five years. I feel like I’ve grown as a blogger as well. I spend as much time thinking about my little space on the blogosphere as I spend on my thesis. I see my blog (like my thesis) as an extension of who I am.

This is how I blog:  

If you leave me a comment – I visit and leave you one as well – If I feel I don’t have anything to say about your latest post, I’ll read the older ones and find something I can connect with.

If you follow me (without the pesky comments) I’ll pop by, leave you a comment and follow you.

If you leave a question in a comment, I email you with an answer and leave a comment on your blog. I generally don’t do the ‘reply’ on the comment because sometimes people forget to check back.I also don’t do the ‘reply’ on the comments section because I think it’s lazy. I feel like the bloggers thinks, I’ll just reply here and don’t need to visit this persons blog. That’s how I read it, so I don’t do it.

I blog about three to four times a week, the days that I don’t post, I’m busy reading all your blogs! It takes me a little longer to get to everyone’s blog because I actually read the post, and I try to leave decent comments. I won’t post a new post until I’ve acknowledged the people who left me a comment – I’m funny like that…

And I truly am grateful for the time you take to follow, read, comment and engage. So much so that I am known to send personalized thank you e-cards, and snail mail! I’m not kidding when I say I’m so grateful!

I just thought it would be nice to share with you how I blog and do things around here. There are few things about blogging that irks me…

The “I follow you, follow me back” comments: I could never write that – I have a little more dignity. I believe two things in relation to this:

1) I know that I put effort into what I write, and I hope that comes through in my posts, and I believe that people will engage with that

2) I know what I write won’t be of interest to everyone, all the time – and I’m okay with that.

I stop by and say thank you for leaving a comment. I have a look around the blog, if it’s of interest to me I may follow but if it’s not. I don’t. Simple. Chances are I have already formed an opinion about the type of blogger the person is based on the “I follow you, follow me back” comment.

“Great post, visit my blog…”: Really? Did you even read my post? I don’t respond to comments such as these (I mean, what am I supposed to say?). I like to engage with my blog friends and their posts.

People who follow but don’t leave a comment: I’m so curious about them! I visit the blog, leave a comment and if I think it’s a blog I’ll enjoy, I follow. But I personally never just follow a blog without saying hi and leaving a comment.

Image credit  1 2


Thank you for making blogging such a positive and nurturing experience for me…
For letting me into an even bigger world…
You inspire me to try to be a better blogger…


  • PrettyPhysicist

    follow me and I'll follow back … haha, just kidding V! 🙂

    I love reading your posts – they're always so well written. I've really been loving the things that you've been putting at the bottom of your posts recently – what you've written recently. Is there something that you use to automatically do that, or do you manually do it? I like it because if I miss something, I can see at a glance and click to it.

    (and I do read regularly, even if I don't always comment – I usually read on my phone, and my phone doesn't like commenting on blogs – it fights me every step of the way)

  • Stephanie

    This makes me want to be more serious about my blog posting, maybe it might also help me start prepping for my thesis as well.

    I am the most random person when it comes to blogging. I always scribble things down that cross my mind or write it on my phone. But i never truly post it until i'm in the mood for it.

    I've been thinking of making more of an effort with regular posts; i need to be less lazy about it 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your approach to blogging, it's always fun to know how others go about it

    xo Stephanie

  • toi

    sometimes i even delete the "i follow you follow me back" comments. these days i blog and want to meet genuine people on the blogsphere whom are willing to share life experiences as you do.

    this post was so well written and it resonates with me, especially when you writes "If I feel I don’t have anything to say about your latest post, I’ll read the older ones and find something I can connect with."

  • Tyne Swedish

    This is such a beautiful post! Thank you soooo much Vanisha for taking the time to write it and to do it so openly! Perfect!!!


  • Tyne Swedish

    Ok I wasn't going to mention this but I feel like I need to. I keep receiving this " 'Great post, visit my blog…' " and I often feel like "Really? Did you even read my post?" but I try to be nice and then most don't even follow me on any platform, share anything with me and I'm just left trying so very hard to be nice and understanding and feeling so …used. I have zero idea how to fix this problem however because I do not wish to be rude or shutdown a potential blogging friend.



  • Becca

    I used to feel bad about deleting the 'Great post! check out my blog' comments but I realised they're not going to check my reply or ever visit again, so why not! I loved it when you commented back on mine, especially as I found you through a guest post feature, it made me feel like you really care. Sometimes I worry my comment gets lost in the 100s that people post. It is important to keep up a good relationship with your followers – I agree. Such a lovely post xxxx

  • ~Orianne~

    I am with you Vanisha, I have only two readers, but I think, they deserve all my post.

    Lol, my mom had a same type writer (pic 3, but the color was grey) 1970.



  • Miss Amy

    I like that you're so responsive – you've been great at emailing me answers to my questions. Even if they're silly like 'what is that nail polish color?!' 🙂

  • Leslie

    Well said Vanisha! I think it's a quality vs quantity thing too. Blogging to me is very personal and not always about pinning inspiration from other sites …a little of that goes a long way.

    Enjoy your day


  • Helen

    I agree V the 'follow me and I'll follow you posts' REALLY annoy me. I delete them straight away. I'm guilty of following and not leaving a comment though :S well at least not straight away. I do make a point of finding a new blog (usual via the sponsors), through the ones I already read every week. I don't think I could do it everyday, I'd be reading forever!

  • Connie

    I totally agree with you, when I get the comments with follow me back etc. I feel like these are people who just want a high number of followers:)
    And love you cards in the mail, I was super excited when I recieved the Christmas card last year:)

  • Catherine

    In agreement 🙂 In fact, if someone leaves a comment saying 'check out my blog' I rarely look at it, but if they leave a genuine, kind, interesting comment I will always look. As always, lovely post xxx

  • Taj Acosta

    Hi doll, hope all is well this week! Cute post, funny how many people just want numbers for their blogs and then what? I don't know, I think you have to enjoy the journey of blogging and do it for yourself and no other reason than enjoyment of meeting and connecting with other like minds! xx -Taj

  • Anna

    I think what brings me back to your blog time & time again (apart from our amazing it is regardless AND how sweet you are) is that I feel so at 'home' here – does that make sense? I come here and it's like my own little space I can look around and relate to and immerse myself in. I love your writing style, the pictures you share, the stories you tell and the way you present it all. I loved this post purely because you've said what a lot of us think!!! The follow for follows are just a dampner on the blog society. Give me blogs like yours anyway with heart and soul and relationships that we can build up. Thank you for having this beautiful 'extension of yourself' that we can all share in xxx

  • B

    Thanks for sharing!! I can totally relate to the blogger thinkgs that erk you (all of them). I, too, am always so curious about the ones who follow, but don't comment or don't have blogs themselves. No matter what, I am still grateful though. I used to read blogs without always commenting or following. I didn't realize what the community was like until I started reading more and more. Then I wanted in and started my own blog too!

  • Melbourne on my mind

    At least the "I followed you, follow me back?" comments aren't as ridiculous as the "Check out my blog, and if you follow me, I'll follow you back!". Uh, no. If you took the effort to come to my blog and leave a comment but you didn't WANT to follow me of your own volition? Then no. I'd much rather connect with people who are interested in actual communication than people who just want to increase their follower count, you know?!

  • Lady Jewels Diva®

    I'm pretty much the same.

    Blogging has changed in the last 3.5 years I've been doing it. Back then everyone said if you follow blogs and make comments you'll get followers back. I've found that doesn't really happen now so I just follow people that look like they are of a like mind and make comments on posts I know something about.

  • i relate to that

    Even if I dont leave comments, I follow your blog. Its so inspiring and nice.
    Keep posting!

  • Mrs. Pancakes

    This was a fun post…I must say I think you are truly one of the most genuine blogger/person out here!! Your thank you note was such an amazing gesture! And yeah I don't get the follow you, follow me comment either…such a turn off!

  • Megan

    I love this post, I love your dedication to replying to comments! I think it is important to leave meaningful comments but sometimes I like to leave a comment just to let people know I read the post even though I might not necessarily be able to relate to it.
    I just read through your comments on the blogger brunch post, love that we are not the only ones who have forgot to take photos!
    Hope all is well in PHD world oh and also wanted to say I love this " I see my blog (like my thesis) as an extension of who I am" it is exactly how I feel except I dont have a thesis!!

  • dodeline

    This is a fun post and such a great point! I dislike the "follow back" comment too. Read the post and actually respond! It's not all about garnering zillions of followers. It should be about connections and relationships.

  • Tina L. Hook

    Much like yourself, my blog is a place where I nourish myself.

    While I visit plenty of blogs who don't visit me, those who leave comments on my blog get first priority. If there is no time to peruse extra blogs after that, then the other blogs simply don't get my attention.

  • Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird

    Great post! Visit my blog!


    You and I operate the same way… I return every comment I get. And like you, if the top post is a post I have nothing to comment on, I'll find an older post. It drives me CRAZY when I comment on a blog several times and never hear anything from them.

  • Ashley

    I'm so glad you posted this. I really love reading your blog. You're such a beautiful person (love your style) and a beautiful writer. Thanks for sharing a little more about you! 🙂

  • Selma @ Crazy Little World Of Mine

    Awesome post!!! Literally. I can't stand those "great post, wanna follow each other" comments. I let them be, but I hardly ever go over. Sad I know. If I do and I like it I may comment and I may return, but if I don't really hear back from people at least once or twice I won't bother any longer. And heck, blogging is time consuming. It doesn't involve writing and commenting but it definitely requires reading…and not just skipping through. I so hear you!!

  • tinajo

    Interesting post, it´s fun to see how we all view blogging and the special world around it! 🙂

  • Jayme and Mendi

    Great post!! We love your blog and that's why we keep coming back! 🙂

    Jayme & Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings

  • Sam

    Dare I say it "great post", lol, but I really mean it! I agree with you on so many points. I've also realized that its better to blog fewer times in the week and have more time to visit other blogs. I understand the annoyance about the 'follow me, Ill follow you' comments but sometimes I've seen that the commentator isn't usually english speaking and probably has no idea that this is irksome. You are a wonderful and inspiring blogger Vanisha, I have learnt so much from you and I grateful that I got to be a part of your world here on the blogosphere 🙂

  • Pooja Meena

    This was a really interesting post! Having just started blogging, it was nice to know your thoughts on 'blogging etiquette.'

  • Dancing Branflake

    I love that! I also always love your comments and look forward to them. And those silent readers? I'm so interested in them also!!!

  • Jasmina Perko

    Agree with you! & your blog is really nice.

  • Fashion-isha

    Thanks for stopping by and thanks for posting these little details about the way you blog. I like your ethics and I agree that blog relationships should be authentic and no only self serving. Have a great day!

  • Lauryn

    It drives me crazy when bloggers stop by and comment once to try to gain more followers. It seems like such a waste of energy! That's not what blogging should be about. My favorite part of the experience is getting to meet new people and to gete a glimpse into their lives. The people behind the blogs make the whole experience worthwhile!

  • Patty

    I really agree with your philosophy about blogging! (Probably why I love your blog so much!) Take care my dear!

  • Amanda

    Girl I agree with you 100%! This is a great post idea – I may use it (I'll link to you!) as part of the general theme of upcoming change at RDD. I love how you outlined how you connect with your readers – such a great idea!


  • Kim Marie

    Hey there! So I clicked on Royal Daughter Designs tweet about this post and read your post. What a wonderful post!

    I have been doing a lot of growing myself and "changing" in the blog-0-sphere lately and I'm still not done.

    When I came back after awhile of being gone I got into the habit all too quickly of just following people to win something…didn't matter if I truly liked their blog. Now I'm going through and removing some as I just can't keep up…is that bad?

    I think that blogging in general has become more of a numbers game…who can have the most followers. I've decided that isn't what I want. I'd rather have a follower because they truly are interested in what I write than just adding themselves to be a number.

    Thank you for this. This was like a little reminder to myself of who and what type of blogger I'd like to follow!


    Kim M.

  • Sugar Mama Bakeshop

    This is such a cool post. Thanks for sharing what blogging is about for you! I'm in the middle of a bit of a blogging crisis 🙂 I'm feeling overwhelmed by the numbers game and barrage of ads you see everywhere. I'm trying to figure what exactly is important to me about this little place I love so much. I love hearing your perspective about your own beautiful blog!
    <3 Ashley


    Great post Vanisha! I love your blog because it is indeed an extension of YOU! which I love! You're a very open, honest, thankful person and very loyal and supportive. I enjoy your posts because as I read more about you and Patrick I feel I'm reading about YOU, you're hopes, dreams and fears – the real Vanisha! and she is beautiful inside and out! The only comment I would make on people following but not commenting is that I used to do that when I first came across blogs. I was too shy to leave a comment!!! Hard to believe now that I'm blogging away good oh now!! but yes I was too scared to leave a comment so maybe some followers feel like this especially if they do not have their own blog!!


  • Deidre

    I've been going through a bit of a blogger existential crisis – and coming to your blog has been quite inspiring to me young lady! 🙂

    PS as to your newest post – I love going to the movies alone, I used to go skiing alone all the time, and I've even been to the ballet alone 🙂 I'm so glad you're pushing yourself in all kinds of new ways.

  • Marta

    Hi Vanisha, this is such a nice post ! I discovered you through a comment on Marlene's blog and I was hooked when started reading some of your posts (this one, the body image one, etc, etc, etc). I totally agree with you here and I try to do the same. The only thing that I do differently is that I try to reply to comments as much as I can. Btw, you looked great on the pictures and you SHOULD be happy with what you have :)) xx

  • Lovely Light

    Hi there- your thoughts on blogging are often mine! Unfortunately, my goal of posting twice a week has gone away completely… I think my new goal will be once a week (for now!). Creating posts take me longer than I'd like (editing photos, writing text, and choosing the right song and video), and I think it if I can work on my perfectionism, I'd have more fun…I'm so glad that you've maintained your blog!

  • Chocolate, Cookies & Candies

    This post really speaks to me on many levels. Even after 2 years, I'm still puzzled by the "great blog! Now please follow me…" comments. The only time I ever tell someone to follow me is when my daughter runs away without telling me or a friend's on Twitter so I'll tell her to follow me so that I can find her easily.

  • The life of Clare

    What a fantastically honest post! I'm just a resonably new blogger, soi don't tend to get a lot of those "nice blog, follow me" comments. I valued each and every follower and commenter, how lovely is it that we can connect with people all over the world.

    Thank you also for mentioning about hitting Reply to comments, as this is what I do for each and every comment but you're right, and I'd never thought about it, that people might not pop back. From now on, I will make sure I email my replies!


    I enjoyed this post a lot and the honesty is refreshing! I wish I had more discipline with not starting a new blog post until I was done with comments but I end up feeling so backed up with blog posts! I love the idea of it though so maybe I'll give it a shot. Those same things irk me too but at the end of the day, I tell myself that the people who comment are the ones who are genuinely invested in my blog. I wouldn't want to sift through a bunch of "great post!" comments anyways, if they're not genuine!


  • Nelah

    I cant begin to tell you how much i can relate to this post. Probably in evrry single point you brought up. I too am in my second in blogsphere and have learnt so many things through the posts i wrote and people who stop by. Earlier this year i made a vow to set myself free from blogging obligations (which i did a lenghty post on it ) and couldnt be happier. Your blog has become my new favorite, found you via Chocolate, Cookies and Candies.

  • CAS

    I'm still pretty new at this "blogging" thing but I'm enjoying it. The tips you provided will be very helpful for me. Also, it's nice to know there are other people who still like to send personal cards and letters by "snail mail"…we are a dying breed. 🙂 God Bless

  • hope in high heels

    this post is so very you – genuine, direct, honest, warm and real. I couldn't agree more with all of your points. My absolute favorite thing about blogging is the genuine connections you make with people you may have otherwise never met. I feel like I have friends all over the world that I could stop in and visit for a coffee and feel like I've known them forever – it's because we take the time to really engage. Thanks for sharing xx

  • Jessica

    Love these rules! I'm fairly new to blogging and still trying to find my "groove" so to speak. These are very helpful tips! Thanks! 🙂

  • Chloe

    Very interesting post. I love reading about the behind the scenes of blogging. I am so curious about people that visit my blog and never comment. Sometimes I can't comment on blogs right away if I'm short on time, but I always try to go back and write something. It's the ones that never comment but visit every day that I wonder about the most. I hope they come out and say hi someday haha.

  • fashionizelife

    I totally agree with this. I've gotten so many follow me you and follow me backs since I started blogging, and the most annoying one is I think the one goes like this : follow me and I'll follow you back. Now, that one really bothers me. It's so selfish and ugly. Nobody has to follow me, after all it's just a blog, if you don't want to follow, no problem.

  • Svenja

    I loved this. I have had similar thoughts on blogging but was kind of reluctant to articulate them. Recently I also got a lot (well, ha ha "a lot" is maybe a bit exaggerated, because my blog is very small, which is ok, but it got more often recently) of follow me, I follow you's and, you are right, mostly people do not even READ the post. In the past, I felt that I am obliged to follow back if someone followed me, but if there was no growing interaction between us persons behind the blogs plus the other content was non of my interest, I stopped following after a while.

    People should follow if they are truly feel that we have things / interests in common and enjoy the "news feed".


  • Stacey

    I just found this post through Amanda from a "A Royal Daughter" because she shared the link on Facebook as a great read for blogging etiquette, and I'm so glad she did! I've been blogging for a little over a year, so I still feel like a "newbie" and I very much appreciate your tips and honest opinions in this post. I look forward to checking out the rest of your blog and following along!

  • Carly

    Great post Vanisha 😉
    I'm not a blogger myself (yet) but I do have a few I really enjoy reading. I'm not much of a commenter though because I'm usually reading from my phone and I find typing anything longer than one sentence difficult. And it's hard to contribute anything constructive or sincere in one sentence (I think). Sometimes though a post will compel me to turn only computer and comment or say hello 🙂
    I love the way you blog, especially the idea of replying via email. Like you I find it hard to recheck my comments to see it was acknowledged or a reply was in turn left for me.
    Looking forward to starting/launching a blog of my own and will certainly include these 'ways' in how I be a part of the blogging community.

  • Kristian

    As usual, such a thoughtful and interesting post. I love to read about people's thoughts on blogging ettiquette. Like you, I really went to the effort of making sure I commented on every post I read. Sometimes they weren't deep comments because, well, what I wanted to tell them was "nice dress!" Still, I felt it important and that a comment said in some small way "Thank you for the time and effort you put into this post."I dislike links in comments though or ones where the person is obviously just trying to garner viewings. However, I was really surprised in reading other bloggers' thoughts on commenting and how some felt commenting too much was bad ettiquite. Not sure if it was felt to be spammy or what.

    I'll admit, as my time for reading blogs has shrunk, I' am not nearly as good at commenting and do have blogs I'll follow but not comment on. Perhaps unfairly, the size of the blog counts in whether I'll coment nowadays. If it is huge, I'm less likely to comment than a smaller one. Oh well…

  • Sarah-Elizabeth

    You have quite a few good points in here. I have actually caught myself following a blog, forgetting to and not taking the time to leave a comment. That means I end up forgetting to look back at their blog often. I do like your idea of instead of hitting the reply button going on to check out their blog and leave a comment there. (However I think I will also hit the reply button as well as I like, personally, to create conversation on my blog with my readers!) I may just have to write my own post on my blog etiquette now 😀

  • Gabrielle

    I just stumbled on your blog and I like it, you write about things I can relate to

  • Ann Krembs

    Ok Vanisha, first, I haven’t checked in since you made the transition to A Life UnStyled. I knew you were in Fiji, but boy, there are so many new posts. I have a lot of catching up to do. You don’t stop which is so inspiring!

    Also what inspires me is how systematic and practical you go about all of this. I really, really need to take note and reflect (not necessarily on my blog) but in a similar way. What’s it all about for me? Why and how do I do it? I find the post a few more later about why I stopped following your blog interesting as well as the Instagram one. You know my struggles Vanisha…be guaranteed I’m watching and taking note and trying real hard to learn from you.

    Watching Fiji Fashion Week has bee such fun. Thanks for all the honesty found within your writing. You are my #inspo!!

    Ann from Kremb de la Kremb

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